A Forgiveness Spree

Okay, here’s a liberating, therapeutic take on the “F-word”… huh? No, not that f-word, another one: forgiveness.  I say a therapeutic take because this word is so often maligned, misunderstood, and tossed into the benign bin of religious or other contextual rhetoric that it renders its potency on face value seemingly ineffective or reduced to a fleeting gesture.

By the end of this exploration, you’ll look forward to engaging a true forgiveness spree as if it were a shopping spree – but with much more lasting results.

1. The Power of True Forgiveness

Therapeutically, a true understanding of the facility and nature of this ubiquitous mechanism called forgiveness is life changing. Transformative. Liberating. Seems like a tall order from such a small word, huh? And therein is the rub. Because forgiveness is viewed as a position to take rather than a facilitation, it becomes as ineffective as the perception of it is.

Most have been conditioned to perceive forgiveness as a politeness of socialization, or as conflicting as one’s thoughts of conforming to religious edicts of morality. “Why do I have to be the bigger person?” Misguided forgiveness efforts can lead to emotional suppression and festering, unconscious resentment.

Forgiveness’ therapeutic value is obscured by the superficial, judgmental, moralistic programming that renders it rhetorical. Such a shame. In fact, forgiveness rightly perceived and understood for the mechanism it is, can invalidate and release that very burden – shame.

2. The Key to Effective Forgiveness: Starting with Self-Forgiveness

Enough thesis – here is the reason forgiveness is so obtuse (lol – every time I think of that word, I can’t help but think of the seminal movie, “The Shawshank Redemption”, for those where that movie has become embedded in the culture of cinema, know how that word informs a critical scene in the movie. But I digress…) – the reason forgiveness is relegated to a theoretical concept rather than a mechanism of liberation is because a GIANT step is missed or skipped in the usual effort and usage of the intention.

The efficacy of the mechanism forgiveness is informed by a guiding tenant that can effectively be applied to everything under the sun. That guiding principle is this: You can only effectively employ a benefit towards something if and only if it is being employed to self first, or simultaneously.

The reason forgiveness is challenging to accommodate or extend is because its mechanism is not employed to self. As stated, when forgiveness is viewed as a position to take rather than a mechanism to activate – that excludes the self in that activation, it is undermined through that bypassing of the self.

In plain language, forgiveness of self is what empowers forgiveness extended to be authentic and true. As a therapist, I witness every problem and condition under the proverbial sun and all conditions of limitation are owed to an unconscious if not conscious malaise of guilt.

3. The Antidote to Existential Guilt: The Power of Self-Forgiveness

Our reflexive, imposed, programmed and existential guilt – as a perceived condition of being alive – is the five-ton elephant sitting on the chest of our well-being. Forgiveness is the antidote to guilt – period.

As you activate the mechanism of forgiveness of self, you empower your own liberation from blame, judgment, anger, resentment, frustration, and stagnation (stagnation is a consequence of stewing in one’s own imposed toxic juices of self-judgment guilt).  The question becomes, “How does one truly activate self-forgiveness if their own self-condemnation has been validated through feelings and experiences?” (Wow, you didn’t know you had that question festering until it was exposed so succinctly, huh?)

Glad you asked! And the answer you’ll be heartened to read, is disarmingly simple. You recognize and accept that every ‘fault’ you have ever witness about yourself – was a program. You are not excusing or justifying the faults you experience as responsible, but rather, – you are recognizing the origin of them.

When you come out of the womb and into the world (some say before) you come into a world of programming. You are not “designed” with faults – you inherit and absorb them. (Everyone on the planet is either acting out their programming or expressing their freedom from it).

4. The Power of Self-Forgiveness in Liberation

Your continual, legitimate acts of self-forgiveness stem from the ever-appreciating awareness that you are not the programming that sabotages. This liberation gives you the leverage to grow out of faults not excuse them (so there are no scapegoats in this understanding – none needed).

(Self) forgiveness unleashes your autonomy, your autonomous power – your availability to act from your independent worthiness – rather than programmed conditioning. You don’t deny, ignore, or suppress sabotaging programming – you now have the liberated awareness to not identify with it and therefore cease to propagate it.

Self-forgiveness does not abscond responsibility – it gets to the heart of it. It prepares you to release the guilt that attaches you to sabotaging behaviors, judgements, and perceptions.

Activating the (self) forgiveness mechanism through a sincere intention to do so, invalidates the mental, emotional, circumstantial conditions that imprison well-being. Forgiveness invalidates the guilt that sabotages.

Forgiveness invalidates doubt. Forgiveness invalidates money obstructions. (Which are all internal before they become external). Forgiveness invalidates relationship obstructions (which again, begin internally). Forgiveness invalidates health issues. Forgiveness invalidates erosion of self-esteem. Forgiveness releases defensiveness. Forgiveness invalidates perceptions of attack.

5. Freeing Yourself from Debilitating Programming

Why does the mechanism of forgiveness liberate all this? Because the engagement distinguishes you from the debilitating programming that distorts your true self. As you free yourself from identifying with distorted programming you no longer defend it as a means of identification.

Your possibility in all areas is no longer  theoretical, its real awaiting availability. Forgiveness enables that availability.

Be your own salvation – through forgiveness.

6. Summary

Forgiveness can only be effectively employed if it is being employed to the self first or simultaneously, and that self-forgiveness is what empowers forgiveness extended to be authentic and true.

The efficacy of the mechanism of forgiveness is informed by the guiding principle that it must be applied to the self first. Ultimately, the article highlights the power of forgiveness in releasing guilt, doubt, money obstructions, relationship obstructions, health issues, erosion of self-esteem, defensiveness, and perceptions of attack.